Tuesday, April 5, 2011

April 4, 2011

the day started out pretty good, jason was talking to me while we were laying in bed, then we got him up and showered {it was a bit of a rough shower} after his shower got him on the couch and started his morning meds...well shortly after finishing his morning pills jason started to seize. we believe he had 4 before the ambulance got here. while at the hospital they did a chest xray to check on his pneumonia, then later did a CT scan of his brain. the xray showed the pneumonia so they did a iv antibiotic, {after poking him about a million times they finally got the iv started, even poked the port 6 times!! WTF?!} the CT scan showed that there are new lesions {we already knew this} and they had grown, and he was bleeding, couldnt tell you if it was the right or left side the dr changed his mind each time he told us. they wanted to send us to the university {we were at the hospital in tremonton} but there was no point in it, they have already washed their hands of us. so after telling the dr like 3 different times that we werent going down there unless they were actually going to do something for us, he finally understood. so he called our neurosurgeon who informed him that if we wanted he could try n remove the bleeding in his brain, but other than that there was nothing they could do.

so after about 5 hours in the er{5 very long emotional hours}, we finally go to come home {idaho} where friends n family met us, along with the hospice nurse. {yes jason is officially on hospice}

the hospice nurse brought oxygen, a mucus sucker {it helps A LOT to get the crap he coughs up out of his mouth} morphine, ativan, and personal supplies. we refused a hospital bed, and my parents bought a recliner, {jason never wanted a hospital bed} then there was the paperwork....one of the hardest things i have ever done is fill out my 22 year old husbands DNR.

{sorry if i left a lot out...but im sure you all understand}


  1. Hope you are at the hardest part now. I admire your strength and true devotion to Jason. You are in my prayers constantly. Please tell Jason that it is my absolute honor to know the two of you. Keep your Heavenly Father close and rely on him. Love you tons.

  2. Jason and Hope, I know we never met but I feel like I know you both and want to tell you that the love, strength and courage you have shown to each other and the world is beautiful and will live on forever Big Hugs & Prayers to you both, Love, Suzanne & Howard

  3. we love you guys My family i know is constantly thinking of you and praying. Jason is a truly good hearted person and has come through so many obsticals! We were greatful for visiting. let us know if you need anything! kierst

  4. I feel like my words have no real meaning or make things better, but you are in our daily prayers, as well as my family's! I dont know if you are sick of hearing this, but you truely are an amazing woman, and so strong! Thanks for keeping me posted with everything. Sending you positive energy and strength.I dont mean to offend, but hang in there!