well...were back!! n have been for a while...lol we went on the cruise!! had a great time!! here are some pictures {in no special order of course!} Altho i did get sea sick, n was for pretty much the entire time, which was ridiculous considering the 12 hour road trip down there Iwas JUST FINE!!! but oh well, live n learn.... im still trying to teach jason quality over quantity, we bought motion sickness pills, but the fake named ones!! no bueno!!!

we had to straighten jasons hair!! {haha} it was/is getting ridiculously long!! but he is bound n determined to grow it out long enough to donate it!! :)) {we found out his IL2 shouldnt make his hair fall out!!}

the lovely decor...it was a nasty orange pinkish color lol

HUGE ship!!!

i will post more pictures later {and on facebook} the upload thing is being retarded it has taken me about 35 minutes just to do these ones!!!

well since we've been back we haven't done much...just been working, that is until last night {2/2} Jason had another seizure, this one didn't last as long as the first but he was much more convulsive during this one, and he bit his tongue something fierce! {i tried to take a picture, but it looks normal in the picture} So once again we were rushed to the ER via ambulance. and got to spend most of our night there! once at the hospital we went through the whole getting him checked in blah blah blah ;) and after all the medical workers left the room, Jason looked up at me n asked why he was at the hospital!!! i felt so bad that he had to clue to why he was there.... well anywhos, they did some CT scans and came to the conclusion that the tissue surrounding his brain tumor has swollen, and that's what caused the seizure, and as of now its about double in size since December, BUT!! the tumor is about the same size!! so after waiting in the ER forever, yelling at the nurse that she couldn't give Jason a steroid {it would screw up the IL2} we finally got to come home {around 130ish this morning} but we had to go to SLC to the Huntsman today, to talk with Jasons cancer dr, and came to the conclusion that we are waiting to start the IL2 for another 2 weeks, now the plan is to go down and start chemo on February 21. while were waiting for the next two weeks to pass, Jason is on seizure watch, n if he has more the chemo will probably be pushed back again...Were hoping that it all goes according to plan this time. Altho we are still waiting to hear from the neurosurgeon, if he decides to put jason on a steroid, and if this happens, the chemo will be pushed back even more. hmm....i think that may be all i have for now! :))

So i just realized that it has been forever since i have posted anything. Well, not much has happened since the last update but here goes... Jason is officially off of steroids!! :)) yay... and he also has gotten his anti siezure medication dosage cut in half {starting today} which is WONDERFUL!! his drugs were/are making him crazy!!He cant hold still, he SHAKES so much! has lost his temper a couple of times {which im sure come with the situation more so than the drugs} but ill blame the drugs! :) and he has broken out in {hives} :(( so im hoping that the hives will finally leave and he will calm down a bit! And now that he is off the steroids he can start he {IL2} well in two weeks he can. on a good note, we will be on a {ship} on our way to Mexico this time next week :)) so excited!!! Thanks to Jasons wonderful aunt n aAr n Ray :)) We cant wait we are so ready for a vacation, to relax and get away from reality for a little while, before the torture begins!!

We finally got a date to start chemo... we will be going down the the Huntsman on sunday {feb 7} we have to be there arond 5ish... and they will hook him up to an IV and start antibiotics.. the real stuff will begin Monday morning, around 6 they will insert a port into his arm, and later that morning {9ish} they will give his first treatment, they are planning on doing 3 treatments a day, and hoping to get 12 done in the week that we are there {it all depends on jasons blood count, water weight gain, and urine output}. They say that he wont really notice the chemo until the second or third day... and will probably be sick for a good 7 days or so... :((

Im not really looking forward to the chemo beginning, it will make it all so real... when we are home it pretty much doesnt exist. And it is so hard to believe that this could result in death. He seems fine when were home, except the cough {that we both have had} i guess im just not ready for it to become reality... im content with it not existing!!

as promised...

As promised the blog is being updated to keep everyone informed.... We have been extremely busy the past couple days, Wednesday {Jan 6} we had to be in SLC bright n early! for an MRI then we had an appointment with radiation oncology department to make a mask, for the radio surgery. after a long wait in the oncology department, we went to talk to our main cancer Dr, and his melanoma team.We were once again given options, well sorta, we were given 2. the IL2{which we were told of earlier} and a trial that they are conducting {which we don't qualify for as of now} due to Jason's brain tumor. All of the Dr's are very nice, and seem to really see us, and not just a dollar sign. After speaking with them for about an hour, our pulmonary Dr came in to talk about taking out the tumor is Jason airway. he was very confident that he would be able to get the entire thing out. He told us that he was in shock that Jason was breathing as well as he was, we must have given him the {huh?!} look because he asked if we had seen it yet. {which we had not} so he showed us! {if you look where the mouse clicker is pointing that is the tumor, the right{your right} shows how his lung looks {on his left} which is how its supposed to look. After trying to figure out our surgery schedule for the next day {Thursday 1/7} it was finally decided. Jason would receive the radio surgery in the morning at Huntsman, then head over to the U of U and get the tumor removed from his airway. then at about 5:35 ish we finally got to leave the hospital!! :) We were so ready to come home!! but werent exactly ready for the LONG ride!! Jason had never eaten at Del taco, so we wanted to eat there!! but we don't exactly know our way around SLC, we don't spend too much time there{at least we didn't before} so i searched for the nearest one on our tom tom {navigation thingy} found one, followed the directions way out into the boonies, to find one that was {CLOSED!!} and not just closed for the night. the building is for {rent} ahh!! we were so mad!! but we did end up finding one which made it all okay! :) we finally made it home around 9 and went to bed!

Thursday morning Jason had his radio surgery, which as far as we know all went well, but we wont know the the tumor is cooperating until we have our follow up appointment in March. while Jason was in the back receiving treatment me Jennifer, and Tim were waiting out in the waiting room, trying to give Courtney, steppy, Dall, and Jesse directions on how to get there. and obviously they are the worst listeners in all the world!! they were searching for us in the U of U. which made it a good laugh for us along with everyone else in the waiting room. The radio surgery took about 30 minutes then we headed over to U of U. and waited n waited n waited, our surgery time was for 11:30, and he finally went into the OR around 2:30. it took about an hour in surgery and about another hour in recovery {due to waiting for the Dr to come talk to us!} He finally came back to talk, told us the the surgery went really well he was able to get the entire tumor out of the airway, along with a lymph node that the cancer team had asked him to get while in there. and he again, showed us pictures!! :) the left is how it looked before the surgery{nasty giant booger type thing is the tumor} the right pic is how his airway is now!! {he can breath again}

We are so glad to have the surgeries done and over with, and plan are starting Chemo in about 4 weeks. Jason has to be completely off of the steroids for at least 2 weeks before it can begin. so hopefully we are done with Dr visits for a little while, we need time to be together at home!! away from the hospital {it becomes all too real while we are there}

updates...

I got rid of my precious HUMMER!!! :(( I now drive a grand prix, which is still really nice...but its not my HUMMER!!! but it was the right mature, responsible thing to do... i think the thing i hate about it the most is the looks n questions i get from people when they find out its gone, its pretty much the {i told you so} look, and questions such as { oh, you couldn't afford it? it got too expensive?} Friggin annoying! NO!! that isn't why i got rid of it at all!!!

I really wish that it would {STOP SNOWING!!!} i could handle it with the {HUMMER}, and i can handle it here in {logan} but now that we are going to be driving down to sat lake, starting here in a couple days, i am {not looking forward to it!} BUT!!! i do have my {tom tom} with the hospital already saved to the {favorites} so i will be getting turn by turn directions the entire way!! :)) thank goodness or I'm sure we would get lost in a heart beat!!

We heard from the Dr.s last week, Jason will be having surgery on Thursday{possibly Friday}{1/7, 1/8}. We have to go down to SLC on Wednesday {1/6} for pretty much pre-op. they're going to do another MRI and make a frame less mask{not sure!!} i don't think I'm ready for it to begin, this is all so much easier to deal with when we are at home, all alone...we pretty much just forget about it{as if it never happened}. When we go out its usually with family, and they pretty much dwell on this, and constantly ask how are you feeling?, when do you go?, do you need anything?, a ride down? {then they are amazed that i am taking him to the hospital {weird!}} i know they all mean well, but... leave us be!! talk to the other family members who have already asked, or better yet listen the first time!!!! I try to stay strong, and when i do break down they are very small, and NEVER in front of Jason...but yesterday was just too much for me,and i ended up having a {ball fest} on Jason's chest for like 45 minutes.... and it helped {lol} he reassures me that everything is going to be fine...but its still so overwhelming. And a girls got to worry!!! Were supposed to go to a baby blessing today {1/3} but as of last night Jason said no, yesterday was too long with all of his family {greys baptism} and its just overwhelming with all the questions. {so, sorry Melissa! i don't believe we will be making it!}