needless to say the headstone DIDNT come in wednesday. but it DID come today! {friday 18}

i was so worried it wouldnt be delivered since it was snowing like crazy out here today. not mention the fact it was supposed to be delivered back in August...and they have rescheduled about ten times.

remember how i switched the stone to get it delivered sooner?...well we ended up with the stone i originally ordered....so who knows if it was just some excuse to take longer to deliver {which i'm sure they regretted when putting the stone in during a blizzard along with about 4 inches on the ground}

i was very upset with the business and how long they took to deliver. but now that it is here...it is perfect.

just getting there...

 digging the grass up, for the cement block to go into

 leveling it out

 lowering the cement block down

 they lowered the base, centered it, then put this putty stuff down and removed the sticks underneath it

 they put the stick on top of the base then lowered the top down onto it, centered it, put the calk around then removed the sticks

 removing the excess calk that was pushed out by the weight of the stone

the finished product...love it.

today was Jason's birthday, i started having issues last night while reading the comments on his FB wishing him a happy bday...but overall i think i did pretty good with the day...{the next week will be hard/er}

we had his party at the cemetery, had a pretty good time, didtn start crying until i was writing wesleys message for jason on a balloon...then i lost it, gained control, lost it again...

we let go 23 balloons, Jason would be 23 today...we all wrote a message on them...n let them go at the end of happy birthday. there wasnt a dry eye by the end of happy birthday, i didnt make it thru happy...

 all the balloons

 reubens message to Jason!

 timari n family message

{everyone wrote a message, i just got pix of these for timari, since she couldnt be there...}

 me with my balloon

 letting our balloons go

ritz from timari ♥

Jason's birthday is at the end of the month {30} and i want to do something. as of right now, im planning a balloon release and cake n ice cream up at the cemetery....just unsure of the time, dont want it to be in the middle of the day, n not too early so probably early evening :)

so this is your invite if you want to come, but let me know so we have enough stuff for everyone....

memorial day 2011

it will always be Hope and Jason. i know Jason will always be with me.{i feel him everyday} we have an amazing strong bond, LOVE for each other, and made a connection that some will never make. and that will never end. but i cannot write on the hope and jason blog...i will add things now and again i am sure...things that include the both of us....but right now i feel its my fight. my fight against anger, sadness, loneliness...and to learn to live again. therefore i have made a blog for me, for my fight.

i have had a lot of people tell me that people were asking why the funeral and everything was in snowville, well since nobody has the nerve to as me...i will answer!

Jason always wanted to be cremated...but when it came down to it i couldnt do it...i needed a place to go visit him...n i needed some kind of closure, where as if he was cremated i would have him sitting on my mantle/shelf and take him with me throughout my life, and that would be more difficult that what i am dealing with now....

so tuesday night i laid in the chair with jason for about 3+ hours, talking about it...asking questions, telling him my thoughts.... and he agreed that being buried in snowville, next to my younger brother would work great....

we never talked about it before tuesday {except him saying he wanted to be cremated} we never planned on this being the outcome of our battle...we planned to {and did} fight until the end, working on a miracle...